“We're having a baby!”
I never imagined I’d ever be making this announcement. Yet, there it is. It's very surreal, terrifying and exciting all at once. If you know me well or have read my blog before, you’re familiar with my thoughts on marriage and love. My thoughts on children are similar. I spent my late twenties and thirties navigating the occasionally fun but often brutal dating scene in New York. Dating in Toronto wasn’t much better. The whole experience made it difficult to imagine children. I just didn’t see any potential partners I could truly share that experience with. My devout urbanite self wondered if I was even cut out for parenthood. New York was a grind. Would I dare have one on my own? I was in the toughest (and the most expensive) city to attempt single parenthood. How could I even afford childcare on my own? As I reached my late thirties, I found it more difficult to even imagine. Unlike my parent's generation and traditionalists, I saw parenthood very clearly as a choice and NOT an obligation. I still feel this way now. It's time to look at the big picture and evolve just a little. The self-righteous, sexist traditionalists need to get over it. Children aren’t for everyone and it's TOTALLY FINE.
“There are no have-to’s, just choices”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
That being said, Rudy coming into my life made me look at everything through a whole new and different lens. My life really changed. A child suddenly became easier to imagine and something that I genuinely wanted. Canada somehow feels like a kinder place to have children. Watching my little nephew grow has been an incredible, moving experience as well. Rudy felt exactly the same way. He hadn't imagined a child of his own before we met either. He and I talked about it over many months. Aware of the potential obstacles (like our age, possible health concerns, etc.), we made the choice to try. NOT because we felt obligated to fulfill some kind of duty, convention or societal pressures. But because we simply wanted to experience a little family unit of our own. When we got married, we both agreed that if a child truly wasn’t meant to be, we'd be just fine too. We looked to experts in February of this year for a professional assessment to confirm what, if any, problems there may be. Fast forward to today and I’m 17 weeks pregnant! So far, everything looks very well and we’re full of hope and excitement. Having this baby will be THE biggest project either of us will undertake. I'm so fortunate to have a partner who is as generous, patient and kind as Rudy. He's going to be the sweetest father! Neither of us ever really thought we’d be in this position. But we're so looking forward to it. ALL of it!
Please send positive thoughts our way for a healthy and safe pregnancy (and delivery). :)